One of the most common causes of dispute in a relationship is money. Before putting the bouquets and sweaters together with your gold, everyone should go through the most important questions. You know, tell us about yourself, where you’re dreaming, if the money matters. I dare say that if every couple went through money matters before moving in together, there wouldn’t be so much of a dispute about it later. It seems incomprehensible that there are people who do not know their spouse’s income, for example! However, money is constantly present in our lives, and everyone has learned certain kinds of monetary skills along the way – both good and bad. What is self-evident to one may be completely foreign to another. It is also good to discuss the debt situation of both, i.e. how much debt there is, and why. It is a completely different matter if there is a debt of EUR 70 000 for housing than if it were the same amount but in the form of consumer credit.

There are as many ways to share money in a relationship as there are in a relationship. However, there are a few ways that are repeated when people are asked. I’ll go through them here, and I’ll also tell you how things work in our relationship.


One way is to keep everything separate. Each has its accounts, its expenses, its savings. Mandatory expenses are divided in half for the euro, and a record is kept of how much money each has spent and what common expenditure. This method is easiest for sure when the couple has no children at all. It is also good to have the same level of income so that the other is not overburdened.

This, when working, is a very clear way to organize a couple’s finances. In this style, it does not matter, even if one likes to save and invest more than another, because each party’s savings and investments are completely separate from each other. However, it is a good idea to go through how the costs are shared to avoid possible misunderstandings. For example, when an invoice arrives, it can be put in half of its euro, and each handles its share. Alternatively, the couple can agree in advance which one will pay which expenses.


Going to one end, the other way to agree on money matters, all the money in a relationship is common. The spouses have a joint account in which both of them come in, and all expenses are also paid from there. It seems that the more you ask a parent, the more common this habit is. If it works, then this is good practice. It is good that both parties have relatively similar consumption and saving habits, otherwise, there can easily be a dispute over how the other will spend the money. Before putting the money together, it is important to go through the common rules of the game carefully so that disputes will be avoided in the future as well.

This method is good to remember that even if everything is in common, so accounts and other assets is a good idea to have the name of each party. This is because if something happens to another, then it is impossible to handle money matters if there is no right to the accounts and property. For example, if the entire investment property is only in the name of another and he dies, the widow has no right of access to the deceased’s assets, even if they were in practice common.


In this model, the parties have their accounts where each has its revenue. However, they have a common financial account in which each puts its share of the total expenditure of the economy. It can be equal amounts (again, income level matters!), Or the amount can be related to the parties ’income. For example, if one’s share of a couple’s total income is 70%, and the other’s 30%, it wouldn’t be fair if in each case both put the same amount into a financial account, but then it’s worth proportioning. In other words, in Finnish: a party that earns more also pays more.

After common costs and savings, each party is left with their own money, which they can spend however they want. It is such a part that the other has nothing to say about using it. It’s good that this kind of money is available to both, because people often have different items where they want to spend the money – for one it can be clothes, for another electronics, and so on. We, for example, spend a lot of money on books and various courses, while men are hardly interested in them at all.

How do we distribute the money?

That third option works best for us. We each have our accounts to which our revenue is directed. We have a common budget where each transfers money from their account to common accounts each month. We have opened several different accounts, such as food, car, home/life, and rent, to clarify budgeting. The share of each is calculated about the total expenditure, and the amounts are always checked if the level of income changes. For example, now that I was on maternity leave and my income dropped, we went through the sums again, and my share of the expenses decreased.

Both have almost the same amount of so-called spending money left in their hands after all the compulsory expenditure. We have a joint savings account where we each put the same amount of money each month. These savings are intended for common expenses such as car, vacation travel, and the like. Also, we have our own savings accounts and investments, in which we save what we want.

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